Grisly Laughter Spot : “One night, a man is making his way home”

One night, a man is making his way home from the local. He’s had a fair bit to drink, when he hears this thumping noise behind him.

Not wanting to get involved in whatever it is, he puts his head down and keeps walking. Minutes later he hears the noise again, behind him and getting louder.

‘Thump Thump Thump’

He turns round, and to his horror, he sees a coffin on the street moving towards him.
‘Thump Thump’

Thinking he’s had FAR too much to drink he keeps walking.
‘Thump Thump Thump’

Now it’s gaining on him, so he decides to run for it. He gets to his door panicking trying to get the key in the lock as the coffin is coming, eventually he gets the door open closes & bolts it behind him and collapses on the sofa.

A few seconds later, and
CRASH
The coffin has burst it’s way through the front door knocking it off it’s hinges. Terrified he dodges round the coffin runs up the stairs, thinking there’s no way the coffin can follow him there.

Then he hears
‘Thump Thump Thump Thump’

The coffin is slowly hopping up the stairs, relentless in it’s pursuit.
The man runs into the bathroom and locks the door behind him.
Next thing he hears is CRASH

The coffin comes through the door knocking it off it’s hinges and
it slowly moves towards him, the coffin lid now creaking open and shut as it approaches.

In desperation the man grabs the first thing he sees which is a can of Gillette shaving foam and throws it at the coffin, the coffin keeps coming.

Then he grabs a bar of Imperial Leather Soap throws that too, The coffin keeps coming.

Finally, just before it reaches him, he grabs a bottle of Venos cough medicine and throws it at the coffin &

The coffin stopped.

The post Grisly Laughter Spot : “One night, a man is making his way home” appeared first on TheMarketingblog.

from TheMarketingblog http://www.themarketingblog.co.uk/2019/03/grisly-laughter-spot-one-night-a-man-is-making-his-way-home/

[Watch] Is this the most brazenly dishonest line on a second referendum?

Rebecca Long-Bailey: “We’re not looking to overturn the result of the referendum” #Marr talks to Labour’s Shadow Business Secretary Rebecca Long-Bailey about the party’s position on #Brexit http://bbc.in/2EvWo4p

Long-Bailey: Labour Aren't Looking to Overturn the Referendum – https://t.co/VY1AZTQQKb pic.twitter.com/jKG40PEmhm

— Will Corry (@slievemore) March 3, 2019

………………………….

The post [Watch] Is this the most brazenly dishonest line on a second referendum? appeared first on TheMarketingblog.

from TheMarketingblog http://www.themarketingblog.co.uk/2019/03/watch-is-this-the-most-brazenly-dishonest-line-on-a-second-referendum/

Laughter Spot : “When people use their mobile on the train – a solution”

Hate it when people use their mobile on the train and talk loudly, don’t want to know. Here’s how to fix it!!!
Last Friday, after a tiring week in the office, a lady commuter on the evening train settled down in her seat and closed her eyes.

As the train pulled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his mobile and started talking in an overly-loud voice:

“Hi darlin’, .. it’s Eric…. I’m on the train…yes, I know it’s six thirty and not four thirty, but I had a VERY long long meeting and no sweetheart, it didn’t involve that blonde from accounts.

It was with our grumpy old boss. . . anyway, you know very well that you are the only one in my life. . . Yes, I’m sure … very sure … cross my heart.”

Fifteen minutes passed and he was still talking VERY loudly into his phone…

But by now the young lady next to him was thoroughly pissed off, she’d had enough, so she leaned over and said seductively into the phone, “Oh there you are Eric… hang up the phone big boy and come back to bed!”.

Eric no longer uses his mobile in public anymore!!

The post Laughter Spot : “When people use their mobile on the train – a solution” appeared first on TheMarketingblog.

from TheMarketingblog http://www.themarketingblog.co.uk/2019/03/laughter-spot-when-people-use-their-mobile-on-the-train-a-solution/

Rewriting the Beginner's Guide to SEO, Chapter 7: Measuring, Prioritizing, & Executing SEO

The Unexpected Pros & Cons of Sign-On Bonuses

Negotiating salary with candidates can sometimes be tricky -- particularly if you're extremely excited about a potential candidate, but she's asking for salary well-above the set salary range for the role.

When this is the case, there are a number of elements of an offer outside of salary that a candidate may place significant value on, and could carry more weight when deciding to join your team. For instance, you might offer more vacation time, higher bonus potential, or commuting reimbursement.

Alternatively, you might consider offering a sign-on bonus, which is a one-time increased payment to help you reach a total compensation package that is attractive to the candidate and offers a (sometimes significant) short-term financial incentive.

Of course, like with anything, there are pros and cons to sign-on bonuses. Keep reading to figure out whether a sign-on bonus is really the best tactic for your recruitment team or HR department.

Signing bonus

A signing bonus, or sign-on bonus, is a one-time sum a company might give a new employee as incentive to join the company. Typically, you'd offer a sign-on bonus to create a more attractive total compensation package for a candidate. Additionally, a sign-on bonus could help you incentivize against competing offers to make the candidate's first year more lucrative and competitive to another offer.

Pros and Cons of Sign-On Bonuses

Pros

1. A sign-on bonus is a one time payment.

Let's say your candidate asks for 100K, but you're only able to offer 90K for the role. In a case like this, you might consider including a sign-on bonus to make the total compensation package more attractive to the candidate.

While your compensation expense as an employer in the first year is the 10K sign-on plus the prorated total salary, in subsequent years you are only paying the base salary.

This has less of a financial burden for your company in the long run.

2. A sign-on bonus can help you attract a candidate who might have competing offers.

If you know your candidate is in high demand or might be considering alternative offers, you might want to include an additional incentive to demonstrate your interest in her as a candidate. For instance, let's say you want to hire a highly-skilled engineer, but she's been given offers from other top firms in the city, as well.

The sign-on bonus could be your opportunity to persuade her to join your company -- additionally, it shows you recognize her worth and want to be considered as a serious option.

3. A sign-on bonus can help you bridge the gap between the candidate's desired compensation package and what you're able to offer.

Simply put, a sign-on bonus enables you to bridge the gap between the candidate's desired compensation package, and the compensation package your business is able to offer. While you might not be able to afford to pay her 5K more over the next couple years, you could find the funds to make the offer more appealing to her.

It's important to note, a sign-on bonus often comes with fine print that ensures a candidate will stay with your company for a certain length of time -- likely 6 months to a year, minimum.

Cons

1. Year two, the candidate might feel underpaid or under-appreciated when she returns to a base salary without the sign-on bonus.

Year two, when your candidate sees her total cash compensation comprised only of the base salary in the absence of the sign-on bonus, she might feel underpaid or under-appreciated -- or like she just received a pay cut. Even if she understood the agreement when she made it, it's difficult to mitigate feelings of frustration when that sign-on bonus goes away and the employee is making less than she was making year one.

Over the long-haul, she's likely going to seek out opportunities to close the gap and receive what she initially expected, either through a salary increase, performance bonus, or long-term compensation -- and, if she can't find that opportunity at your company, she might look elsewhere.

To ensure sustained employee satisfaction, it's critical you're able to pull other levers such as options, RSUs, bonuses, or annual compensation increases to cover the expectation.

2. You'll need to ensure your company can offer it immediately.

It might be tricky to locate the funds to offer a sign-on bonus. Additionally, a sign-on bonus is expected to be paid in-full in the candidate's first or second paychecks. So, while it might seem simple, it's worth noting -- you'll want to make sure you have the funds immediately ready to give to your candidate once she accepts your offer.

Alternatively, you might choose to pay 50/50 at the start date and then midway through the year, with a one year clawback clause.

from Marketing https://blog.hubspot.com/marketing/sign-on-bonus

Unstructured Data Vs. Structured Data: A 3-Minute Rundown

Most marketers think being data-driven means using web metrics to inform every decision they make. But that’s not actually being data-driven. That’s being Google Analytics-driven. To truly be data-driven, we must remind ourselves of the actual definition of data -- all types of information.

One of the most insightful types of information is qualitative data or unstructured data. It can reveal your customers’ true opinions and feelings toward your brand, which is challenging to extract from quantitative data or structured data.

Even Jeff Bezos, the CEO of Amazon, is a passionate proponent of using qualitative data to drive strategy. “The thing I have noticed is when the anecdotes and the data disagree, the anecdotes are usually right. And there's something wrong with the way you are measuring (your data)," he explained during an onstage interview at George Bush Presidential Center last April.

Bezos' love for customer feedback shouldn’t compel you to supplant quantitative data with qualitative data when strategizing your next marketing campaign, though. It should compel you to inform your strategy with both sources of data. By combining the insights pulled from web metrics and customer feedback, you can get a full understanding of your marketing program’s effectiveness.

If you want a deeper explanation of what qualitative or unstructured data and quantitative or structured data is, check out this quick rundown of what both data sources exactly are and which tools you can use to store and analyze them.

Unstructured Data

Most often referred to as qualitative data, unstructured data is usually subjective opinions and judgments of your brand in the form of text, which most analytics software can’t collect. This makes unstructured data difficult to gather, store, and organize in typical databases like Excel and SQL. It’s also difficult to examine unstructured data with standard data analysis methods and tools like regression analysis and pivot tables.

Since you can’t store and organize unstructured data in typical databases, you need to store them in Word documents or non-relational (NoSQL) databases, like Elasticsearch or Solr, which can perform search queries for words and phrases.

Additionally, since you can’t use standard data analysis methods and tools to pull insights from unstructured data, you can either manually analyze or use the analysis tools in a NoSQL database to examine unstructured data. However, to use these tools effectively, you need a high level of technical expertise.

If you can successfully extract insights from unstructured data, though, you can develop a deep understanding of your customer’s preferences and their sentiment toward your brand.

Unstructured Data Examples

The most common examples of unstructured data are survey responses, social media comments, blog comments, email responses, and phone call transcriptions

Structured Data

Most often referred to as quantitative data, structured data is objective facts and numbers that most analytics software can collect, making the data easier to export, store, and organize in typical databases like Excel and SQL. Even though structured data is just numbers or words packed in a database, you can easily extract insights from structured data by running it through data analysis methods and tools like regression analysis and pivot tables. This is the most valuable aspect of structured data.

Structured Data Examples

The most common examples of structured data are numbers, names, dates, addresses, and transactional information .

Structured vs. Unstructured Data

The difference between structured and unstructured data is that structured data is objective facts and numbers that most analytics software can collect, making it easy to export, store, and organize in typical databases like Excel, Google Sheets, and SQL. You can also easily examine structured data with standard data analysis methods and tools like regression analysis and pivot tables.

On the contrary, unstructured data is usually subjective opinions and judgments of your brand in the form of text, which most analytics software can’t collect, making it difficult to export, store, and organize in typical databases. You also can’t examine unstructured data analysis methods and tools. Most of the time, you must store unstructured data in Word documents or NoSQL databases and manually analyze it or use the analysis tools in a NoSQL database to examine this type of data.

Be Data-Driven, Not Just Google-Analytics Driven

In a world where Google Analytics can spit out every metric under the sun, you must remember that qualitative data, like customer feedback, is just as crucial for informing your marketing strategy as web metrics. Without unstructured data, you won’t have a clear understanding of how your customers actually feel about your brand. And that’s crucial for every marketer to know.

from Marketing https://blog.hubspot.com/marketing/unstructured-data

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